Take this job and shove it!

So… I’ve been thinking…

I have, too! I’ve been thinking I should write something, but I’m pressed for time and shouldn’t smoke pot. I have like important things to do today. Like, responsible adult things… Mostly…

Today has potential to be pretty much the best day ever, but I still have adult things to do.

So, I figured I’d bitch about my job for a few minutes. Y’all will read anything! You read this! You have horrible taste! You deserve so much better! Today, it’s just gonna be me complaining – but there’s a point to be had. (Ed. Note: Not really a good point.)

Today, I need to call the storage lot and ask if I can get another unit. That will take some time. (Ed. Note: That day was Monday.)

Why and what does this have to do with the band?!?

‘Cause the drummer will need to drive up here and unload all the equipment into the storage unit. I gave ’em permission to hire a helper! Besides, this is why he makes the big bucks. (Ed. Note: He frequently reads this.)

I need to find a shop that I trust and that can fit it in this week. That will take some time.

The drummer will then need to drop off the truck at the shop. (My clever plan to let them hire someone means that he has a ride home!) This is why he makes the big bucks.

I need to call my large tire guy. Yes, I have a large tire guy. He’s not very large, but the tires he works on are. They have a special truck. They’ll go change the tires at said shop, but this will take some time.

The drummer then needs to drive back up. Now is a good time for him to clean and maintain everything. That’ll take a day, maybe two. That’s why he makes the big bucks.

By that point, he’ll be broke and also need to come here to get some cash. That’s not today, but that’s going to take some time. I doubt he’ll even want to wait and do it on rehearsal day! Also, that’s why he makes the big bucks.

I then need to keep up with the garage and tire shop. Inspection and registration are nearly due, so I might as well get those done. By “I might as well,” I mean him. Still, that’ll take some time.

A rough estimate is a total of about $4000. If the truck is going in for brakes and tires, it might as well get all the fluids drained and replaced, new hoses and belts, a real lube job, and shit like that. This is not cheap on a giant truck. Writing this list is going to take some time.

He then has to drive up again. His duties will be to clean the truck like it was detailed professionally and find a way to get the embedded stench of fast food out of the cab. I didn’t look inside, I could smell it when I walked past it. That’s disgusting! Which, again, I remind you is why he makes the big bucks.

I’d make him drive it here for an inspection by me, but that’d take some time.

He then needs to load all that stuff back into the truck! This might actually involve another trip – from south of Augusta all the way to a bit north of Farmington. Do I need to point out that that’s why he makes the big bucks?


My point is that my job is sometimes horrible! (Ed. Note: No, not really. It’s not ever really horrible and that’s not actually my point!)

I actually have it pretty easy. Cushy is a good description. I haven’t even carried my own guitars for quite some time. I’m gonna see how long I can keep that streak going!


Those are the things you never see, unless you’re a performer. We don’t have the luxury of crashing the truck. We don’t have the luxury of breaking down. We need to maintain everything and keep it in proper functional condition. Of course, had the drummer told me about this last December…

I’m not actually sure why he makes the big bucks! (He does, too. He gets a bigger salary than I do!)

We can’t have the truck dead on the highway. We can’t have it stuck in a ditch. We can’t afford to have any more of the crew hurt. We have obligations to the venue and sometimes we even have obligations to our fans. So, we have to be there. As much as we care for our instruments, so too must we also care for the rest of our gear. I’m pretty sure I’ve told you about that before and I’m pretty sure I mentioned spares.

I don’t actually have a spare truck. It’s a pretty big truck. I don’t really want a spare truck. I suppose I could stick it in the barn? I feel as though a spare truck might make them care about the existing truck even less. They do not appear to appreciate my truck – and it is still mine. They appear to drive with one foot on the brake pedal, fill the cab with refuse, and don’t even wash anything on it. I should fire them!

*a while later*

Yup. Today is going to be the best day ever. That is now confirmed!

*a while later*

So many buttons! I’d elaborate, but this is not an automotive site! (Ask me about the car!)

Today, I also need to go to an appointment with a qualified medical professional. I want to hit publish while I still have time to stick around for another hour and a half. So, until next time…

Shut up and play us a song!

*two days later*

So, that stuff has all been scheduled and will be attended to. Everyone knows what they’re doing and when they’re to do it. We rely heavily on communication and time management. We will be cutting it a little close, as we need the truck like ten days from now. It’ll be fine! (If not, we’ll be renting a truck and that’s REALLY going to add some work, for them.)

The reality is that we don’t always have time to do the things we’d like to do, when we’d like to do them. Which is why you’re getting this late. When I wanted to publish it, something far more pressing needed that time allotment and so this wasn’t published – as I’d have no time to respond to anything. Today, I have that time. So, I’m going to publish this in a few minutes.

I’m not sure what the new publishing schedule is going to be like. It’s not going to be daily, I don’t believe. However, I’d like to still get a few articles out every week. We’ll see what happens and there’s still plenty more to write. I’m going to edit this up, publish it, submit it, and enjoy being able to watch the snow fall. Until next time…

Shut up and play us a second song!

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