@Crazy_Eyes tells us a story!

I am still not quite back into the saddle and writing regularly again. It’s not easy to sit in one spot and really concentrate. On top of that, my herbal inspiration doesn’t help. Anyone who says it helps with pain is probably making that up! Me?

I’m honest. I smoke pot to get stoned. It does nothing for the pain! Even worse, it makes me think about my leg! It also makes me overthink my movement on crutches. So, I’m not smoking any pot lately!

I’ll be making a more formal announcement, but I’m working on a project for the Friday Night Guitar Thread (FNGT). Basically, it’s to function as an archive and repository of resources, while allowing communication and providing us with a backup site, should we need to host the guitar thread elsewhere.

It’s pretty slick and I’ve put a ton of hours in. You’re more than welcome to preview it, and even use it already. It seems to be feature complete and I think I’ve ironed out the bugs. If you’d like, and you probably should, you can visit the Friday Night Guitar Thread Community. Please feel free to hammer on it, as well.

Anyhow, Crazy_Eyes decided he’d share a story with us. I’m just going to edit it up and submit it without further comment.

A Crazy Tale:

My friend Bogie and myself went out of town to go to a concert. We like being down front close to the band so we always go early and wait at the door in line to get in so we get a good spot.

This time we decided to head there in the morning for a show that started at 7. we got there at 9. There was nobody there at all, and so we just kind of hung out by the front door. We rode on his motorcycle to get there, about an hour drive so we didn’t really have anywhere to sit.

We did have a hacky sack, him and I were damn good at that back in those days, just the two of us could keep the thing airborne for half an hour at a time. Just let it hit the ground when we wanted to take a break. Except the hacky sack that he brought was brand new. And those don’t work at all, too bouncy. The thing needs to be broken in and that takes a week or two of  using it when it sucks. We wanted to play today. So we got stoned and came up with a solution.

 We did have a bong with us on the motorcycle. So we could get plenty baked. We figured that if a semi truck ran over the hacky sack, it would soften it up a lot faster than us kicking it ten thousand times. So we walked to the street and tried to put it in the road where the tires would hit it. We had to adjust it several times as the vehicles would just miss and the hacky sack would go rolling off.

Finally here comes an eighteen wheeler, right for it! He nailed it, perfectly! Then there were beads flying everywhere! The hacky sack was smashed to smithereens. Scattered to the wind in a million bits! That truck must have been heavy.

 Our entertainment was gone, we have only been here for half an hour, we got 9 more hours to kill, what the hell are we going to do now. No radio. We had an ounce of weed though, so lets burn one and we’ll figure something out. So there we sit just chit chatting about how there’s nothing to do, talking about women. Our girlfriends were going to come find us in line later.

 Just killing time with nothing to do and nowhere to go, we had lunch so we had planned on being there in line all day. A couple of hours go bye, its about 11 in the morning, nobody else is in line at all yet then. Maybe this band isnt as popular as I thought, who cares, I like them. They got to be big, they’re on the MTV. People are going to show up.

Then a bus pulls in. these guys get off the bus and Bogie says to me, “thats them, that’s the band.”

I’m like, Really. I didn’t know exactly what they look like. I only knew what they sound like.

The band is walking right past us to get in the door that we are standing right next to, and I ask one of them, are you guys in the band? They look at me and say hell yeah. we are the band! While the manager is trying to get in a locked door. There’s nobody there but me and Bogie. So they decide that they are just going to pull the bus around to the back of the building and someone is going to go find a phone and contact the venue.

Me and Bogie are still waiting by the front door after they all went around to the back of the building. We are all excited we just got to meet the band that we been waiting in line to see! How cool is this.  Suddenly around the corner of the building comes one of the guys from the band. He say’s hi, Im Fritz! and this is Gordy! How are you guys doing?

We’re super stoned from smoking off that bong all morning, ’cause there’s nothing else to do, and so we tell them about the hacky sack being broke and so there’s nothing to do here and how we were getting bored. But how cool is this not we get to meet the band! What are you guys up to?

Then Fritz asks, if we know where to get any weed? LoL Hell yeah. So he invites us to join them in back and burn some up with them. Now this day is looking up!

So we walk around the building with thee two guys to the back where their tour bus is parked. They are setting up a table and some chairs and the manager is back he got hold of their venue they will be right here. The table is being filled with alcohol and other libations as we watch and then the band comes out of the bus and they star sitting in the lawn chairs having a drink just hanging out.

We didn’t help ourselves, I know all I did was pretty much just try to take it all in, like im behind the velvet rope here for a minute. I wanted to remember this moment.

Then the women started coming out of the bus.

This was a scene from a music video, these women were dressed like 80’s sluts to  T cause that’s what they were and that’s where we were. Motley Crue Girls Girls Girls video chicks coming out of the bus, four of them!

Suddenly we are at a party! The band and the manager are all, help yourselves! The venue is going to be making us dinner and we are just going to be hanging out here till showtime and you guys are welcome to join us.

That’s cause we had that ounce. So the drummer invites us on to the bus to smoke. we get on to the bus with the drummer, one of the guitar players, and two of the groupies. Bogie pulls out his bag of weed, their eyes lit up like thousand watt bulbs! So we ask for the pipe. They have nothing to smoke it out of.

We have a bong on the motorcycle. So I run out to the bike to grab it. I go back around the building to the front where the bike is parked to get the bong, and there are like a hundred people out there. A line has formed to see the concert. The timing of this just blew me away, like a half an hour before this we were sitting there by ourselves when the band pulled up. Now its like a party in the front of the building, all the people waiting for the show.

Anyways I grab the bong and hide it inside my coat and sneak off behind the end of the line back around the building to the back, and go walk right on to the tour bus. I felt like a VIP right then at that moment. That was cool. 

There’s the groupies and my buddy and a couple of the guys from the band. I pull the bong out of my jacket and they are like little kids, hell yeah, fuck yeah lets hit that thing! Pack it Pack it pack it! it was freaking hilarious.

Apparently they had been without finding any weed for a week on their tour, and even when they do find it like today they never take any on the road with them cause being a band they tend to get searched at weigh stations and shit.

So we tell them that we can smoke the whole fuckking ounce today if they want and they are all going nuts, the groupies, the band woooooo woooooo! rowdy as hell.

So we get all stoned with all them. Those women were gorgeous. It was hard not to stare at their tits. I tell you. The cleavage was tremendous. Umm i forgot what I was going to say, umm.

Oh yeah!

We got stoned. Then The drummer says something about he wanted some time alone with one of those groupies. and we all got off the bus except for those two.

The venue people had showed up by now and they had chairs for us out there in the back by the table and we made some drinks and just got to sit around hanging out with the band getting drunk, all baked out of our minds.

That was so cool. They had a roadie guy  that toured with them, he was the guitar tech, drum tech, sound guy, amp lugger, all round handy man that they had working for them.

He was building something out of wood while I we were sitting there, and he leaned a board up against the back of the bus. A couple minutes after he leaned that board up there, while I’m trying to strike up a conversation with the guitar player, the board starts squeaking against the back of the bus. It starts off kind of slow, squeak, squeak, then it starts picking up speed, gradually at first, untill suddenly its eeee-aaaa-eeee-aaaa-eeee-aaaaa-eeeee-aaaaa-eeee-aaaa until Gordy the roady walkes over and snatches the board off the back of the bus.

Everybody starts busting out laughing, and someone says if the bus is rocking, don’t come knocking. And we were all laughing and that kind of broke the tension between us all and we all partied like friends from there on out the rest of the afternoon.

This band was touring with the Scorpions at the time, and this show was on a day off thing they did a headline show in an area where the Scorpions tour was not going. So I asked them a lot about them and they said they weren’t like us, they didn’t sit around and drink and smoke all day like we were doing.

Then I asked them about their music videos, and one of them had the band all covered in mud singing and playing the song with chains and wearing loincloths or something like that.

Every one in the band started complaining about how cold it was that day they filmed that. It was twenty degrees and they were outside for hours covered in mud with barely any clothes on. They hating making that video.

The one they liked making was in New York. They were there to do a video and had stopped  at the record company headquarters with their tour bus and double parked it on the corner in Manhattan outside the front door.

They said that the hookers must have thought they were someone important being parked there like that because they had a steady stream of them coming on their bus performing their services for free. Free hookers.

So they stayed parked there for two weeks. To this day they do not know who paid for all of those hooker, if they got on the wrong bus or what or how or why it happened, but it was non stop the whole time they were there and they could not wait to get back to New York again!

Then around 5 o’clock the venue puts on a beautiful buffet for all of us in the back of the building. We all eat like kings, it was some good food, the place where the show was is normally a supper club so they knew how to cook.

Then after everybody ate, the band and the groupies all went into the bus to go take a nap so they have energy for the show. That leaves me and Bogie and the tour manager and Gordy the roadie just hanging out in the back.

So we all took a walk to the front to see how the line was going, I had told them about the hundred people when i went to get the bong. We come around the corner of the building and there are like a thousand people in line, at least.

The tour manager was really happy to see that. He said was hoping for a thousand at least and having a thousand here already there would be three times that here by showtime.

So we went back and drank some more with Gordy and the manager, we smoked some weed with the roadie guy, but the manger declined. Then Gordy says since you guys have been so generous and reaches into his toolbox and pulls out a drill bit case. Opens it up. Its all joints instead of drill bits. Wow. So he pulls one out and sparks it up. Passes it around.

That’s cool. Its always cool to smoke a different kind of herb, gives you a different buzz.

I remember the guys on the bus going nuts that we had weed and that they haven’t been able to find weed for weeks. But here is there roadie pulling out a joint and sharing it with us. What the hell.  Something doesn’t add up here. Those people on the bus seemed to be genuinely excited for the weed. Could they have been acting? What the hell is the story?

So I asked him. Gordy is all like yeah, don’t let any of them know that I have that, they will fire me. That’s just my personal stash that I sneak off with and smoke when they are sleeping. Please don’t tell them, they will fire me.  So we agreed we would not narc him out. He had a damn good hiding spot anyways.

So eventually its getting to be close to 7:30 when the doors open for the show, and the band is getting up from their naps kind of starting to get ready for the show. Me and Bogie are not in the band, we are not in the crew. Who the hell are we, we are just the guys with the weed. We have tickets for the show too. So at 7:30 the manager and the band all go inside the venue, to do set up and whatnot, we stayed outside. Bogie and I get to talking, they let people in at 7:30, it was like 7:25, maybe we should walk around there and get in line to go in to see the show.

So that’s what we did. The door ten feet away from us leading directly into the building had nobody between us and it. The front door had a thousand people between the door and us. So we went to the front door. And do you know why? We could have just walked right in.

Women. We had to go find our girlfriends, who were coming down there to meet us that evening, and who were probably been looking for us for an hour. So we walked around the building and its a rowdy scene. Bunch of drunks trying to get in to see the rock and roll show.

We found our women no problem. Me and Bogie and our two girlfriends were known to everyone around where we lived as ‘the four freaks’ cause we were almost always together, my girlfriend was his next door neighbor, so things work out like that sometimes.

Any ways, we find them and we tell them that we been partying with the band all day, and they say, we wanna meet the band. But the band is inside getting ready for the show. I tell them we will try to introduce them after the show. Then of course the women wanted to smoke some weed. They didn’t call us the four freaks for nothing.

So we went and got into his girlfriends car and smoked out of the bong and got them all stoned. Then we could hear the music. The band was starting. We look up and there are maybe ten people still outside from the huge line.

Me and Bogie got there at nine o’clock in the morning, the first people in line, so we could get front row and here it ends up we are going to be among the last people to enter, and we haven’t left.

It’s weird how things work out like that sometimes. It all good though, we got to hang out with the band, got drunk, found our women, got stoned, walking in to see a show.

So I danced and rocked out to the show with my beautiful girlfriend. It was a great show. The guys in the band pointed at me or my friend a few times during the show, so that made my girlfriend start to believe more that we actually were partying with them. I don’t think they really believed that. I think they thought we were making that up.

The band rocked the place. They played for a good two hours, playing every song from both of their records at the time as well as throwing in a few cover songs, crowd pleasers like the Scorpions or AC/DC. It was a blast!

So the show ends, and the people are all leaving, I tell my girlfriend to hang around and that we will introduce them to the band. The band had left the stage, the people were all filing out, the only one there was Gordy the roadie and he was starting to tear down the drum kit.

So we walk over to Gordy and ask where’s the band, and he said they are out back where we all were earlier. So we take the girls around the building to meet the band, and nobody is outside at all back there by the bus. The bus door is closed, and it looks all dark inside there. What the hell. My girlfriend says I’m cold, so I give her my jacket to shut her up, while i figure out what is going on and where they went.

One of the girls wants to smoke, so we go to the car and burn some up out of the bong again. And then when that’s done, I say, lets go in and find them. My girlfriend says you don’t know the band we are not going to meet the band.

I knew it, I knew that she didn’t believe me. I told her oh yeah we do and we are going to go party with them. They both said have fun, we are going back home, got to work in the morning, so we kiss goodbye and get out of the car, they drive off and we go back inside. The bands equipment is gone, Gordy the roadie is nowhere to be seen, just the employees of the venue are all that are there.

I ask someone where is the party? And he says downstairs and points us to the stairs. We go downstairs and it’s this bar. I walk to the bar and ask for a beer and he hands me a beer, and he wants money. That hadn’t happened anytime before today? OK so I pay for my beer, and we get to looking around the bar, the band is nowhere to be seen. I don’t recognize a single face.

What the hell. We don’t know what to do, so we just say fuck it, and drink our beer and lets go home to the women.

 We get on the motorcycle and start driving home, by now its close to midnight so the sun has gone down, and the temperature has fallen. A lot. And I am riding on the back of a motorcycle for the next hour. My jacket is on my girlfriend. That was the coldest ride. There is no escaping the 60 mph wind on a motorcycle in a tank top. That was a terrible ride.

Then when we got back to town my girl was already sleeping so I just went to sleep myself. A bad ending to a great day.

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