Why do I play guitar? (And some shit I’m going to pretend you asked.)

I have shit for energy. I feel like ass. My throat is pretty much on fire still, though that is marginally better.

Yesterday, Nadeshda was kind enough to write us a wonderful article about Mongolian throat singing. Today, I was not so lucky. Today, I must pound the keyboard, or my streak ends.

It’s okay. I can cheat.

I’m pretty sure I can answer these questions and the results will be different every time. I’m pretty sure that I don’t always have the same answer. I’m pretty sure it’s too generic a question, but it’s one that I get with some regularity. So, I’m going to answer it and answer some other questions.

Why do you play guitar?

Well, this morning I played it because I need to practice and I had the time. I needed to practice because I must keep my skills at their peak, so that I can fill my obligations to my bandmates and the audience.

Why did you learn to play guitar?

I’m still learning. I initially picked up the guitar because I thought it was cool and figured it’d be easy enough to learn. It was neither, really. Sadly, beginning guitarists don’t get laid often and it’s not easy to learn. Worse, my earliest tutelage was quite specifically classical guitar – which is both complicated and anti-sex-appealing. Learning to play ate up a lot of my youthful fun and sex time.

Why did you stick with it?

I liked the challenge and I really enjoy the versatility of the instrument. The wide variety of tones that can be produced, even from an acoustic guitar, are fantastically interesting. I’m nearing the five decade mark and I’m still learning. I’m still improving. I still don’t see myself as a master.

Will you ever stop performing?

Damned right, I will. For a while, I was pretty much retired and I’d just sit a few sets with friends, or do some gigging with them. I’d go jam with other musicians. I enjoyed that and I’m getting old enough to see that I’ll eventually be slowing down and unable to give a satisfactory performance due to physical limitations caused by age. I will stop before then.

Will you ever stop privately playing?

No, probably not. I expect the quality to deteriorate, but I’m sort of at a peak right now. I’ve had the past decade to really, really put in a lot of hours. I’m actually probably at about the peak of my ability. I might, if I stretch it, be able to pull it off for another decade. Dexterity will go down as will my speed. I can increase efficiency of movement, but that only accounts for so much.

What is your favorite color?

Green. Specifically forest green. There will be a quiz.

Do you actually like playing guitar?

Not always. Nope. Sometimes, it’s a pain in the ass and I’d really like to do something else. However, it’s not going to learn to play itself and I’m kind of obsessed with it. I enjoy the challenges it offers and I like the feelings of accomplishment that it gives me. The thought isn’t my own, but I’ll be forever chasing sound.

Tell me more about chasing sound?

No. That’s more work than I’m putting into this article.

Do you take anything serious?

Yup.

Are you going to take this article serious?

Nope.

Are you just fucking with me?

Nope. In fact, I’m done. Until next time…

Shut up and play us a song!

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