Things look very different from the stage, part 3.5

I’ve decided to number this shit a little differently. This one shall be known as 3.5! My next show will be 4 and we’ll continue like that. Though, frankly, I’m not exactly sure what the whole point of these articles are.

If I had to say I was trying to explain something, I’d end up changing that every time. There doesn’t seem to be any basic message of importance. I guess, in a way, I’m trying to humanize your entertainment.

That’s what I am. I’m your entertainment. You pay me to entertain you. Given my experience in the industry, you now pay me quite well to entertain you.

Today’s gig is going to pay more than Dr. Hook was making.

We sing about beauty and we sing about truth,
At ten-thousand dollars a show.

I costs almost half that just to pay my band and any show expenses. They’ve been good band members, so they’ll be getting a bonus tonight. (They get paid the same amount and I pay them directly, processing the books afterwards. Otherwise, they’d have to wait for the check I just got to be processed.)

Err… Yes, yes some folks still do use checks! Continue reading “Things look very different from the stage, part 3.5”

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Lessons about performing, lesson nineteen: You should probably be soberish!

If you don’t know what I’m doing, then do try to catch up. Basically, I’m telling you all the rules you need to know – if you want to be a professional performing musician.

Granted, it’s a horrible idea – but who among you hasn’t thought about how awesome it must be to stand in front of a crowd of screaming fans – some of them showing you their tits. (Seriously, just lift up your shirt and show the ladies your own man-boobs and they’ll reciprocate. Not all tits are equal, some are much better than others. You have been warned.)

I kinda hate these intros, but someone has to write ’em – or my front page looks like ass. Also, ignore that strange cookie notice. I had to disable my usual one, ’cause I can’t figure out what I did to make that happen. (Weed was a factor.)

You know what? Enough of this damned intro! I’ve got stuff to say!
Continue reading “Lessons about performing, lesson nineteen: You should probably be soberish!”

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