Things look very different from the stage, part three.

Well, I’m now on part three of this and I didn’t actually expect it to become a series or a regular thing. I still have the two main series going and, frankly, the only reason I’m able to do this is because I have learned to manage my time well.

The reality is, I don’t know why I write these, nor for whom I write them. I simply write them because they seem like they need to be written. I write them because you find them interesting, read them, and feed me delicious ego points to let me know that you enjoyed yourself.

I don’t actually care about the points. I care about the comments and the number of people who read the silliness I pass through the keyboard. Those are the things that make it worth doing. Those little comments that you add may seem like nothing, but they’re like Super Mario Coins to me.

Let me get some more herbal inspiration into me…
It’s not all fun and games.

In fact, the majority of the band doesn’t even do this exclusively. They have real jobs. We’re not out touring, living out of a bus, and making the big bucks. We’re the guy that lives down the road but you never see us home because we’re too busy working our asses off.

If you’re in luck, you’ll hear when we are home! You’re welcome!

Ha! I crack me up.

Tomorrow, there’s a concert in the park. This is my band’s fourth gig together – as a distinct band of its own. (We’ve played together for a while. Those who follow along know the details.)

What we have is a higher-end production and, damn it, we look good. We’re pretty awesome, as some of you have heard.

What’s truly most-awesome is that we’re headlining this event. It’s a concert in the park and there are two bands that will be opening for us!

Let’s be realistic – they’re two local bands that are comprised of middle and high school students, one of which is mostly comprised of a local school’s “stage band.”

I’m not getting top billing ahead of Ozzy. I’m okay with that.

The pay is surprisingly good for this event. The event is free, paid by donations from the year before and fund-raising, and we can expect 10,000 to 20,000 people at this event. There will be vendors selling food, trinkets, and our merchandise! We made a deal with ’em so that we don’t even have to sell our own merchandise!

Full Disclosure: It helps that I know the promoters, the people who volunteer, and am intimately familiar with the organization that keeps this event going.

To get this show, I pretty much said, “I’ll do it. I’ll call you with my rates on Monday.” They immediately questioned, without hearing us, if I’d be willing to consider doing the show in 2019.

Which says a lot about why I keep telling you to be a professional in your conduct. I’m spending what I call social credit. It’s a risk, but it’s a risk I’ll take. We could bomb, after all. This is also an all-age, family-friendly event that’s free to all comers.

I’m burning social credit almost as rapidly as I spent cash. I’m recouping my cash investment and I’m regaining my social credit – both will be with interest. Remember, it’s a business! I replicate music. This is a business.

So, this afternoon, we’ll be setting up and doing a sound check early on. Then, we’ll take our instruments home and put things in the truck to lock them up. Saturday, we’ll unpack what we put in the truck – and be ready to roll in very short order.

The site already has on-prem security, just for this event. It’s also a REALLY low-crime area. We’re also going to let the kids use our equipment with supervision. They can plug into our stacks, amps, use our monitors, and our mics.

Why am I allowing that? ‘Cause I’m an idiot – and ’cause they’ll have supervision. I’m an idiot because I’m a sucker for people passionate about music. These kids are going to get to go on stage and use six-figures worth of equipment. These kids are going to get to be fucking rock stars tonight. This is a chance they may never get again.

So, I’ll allow it. They’ll even pipe through our soundboard and we’ll turn the lasers on – even though it’s going to be dark. Someone was talking about giving them some smoke – but that’s up in the air and I kinda want to do that to the stage band and not the rock band that’s also in the line-up. (There’s one each, if you’re curious. I don’t think I mentioned that above ’cause I smoke a lot of pot.)

And, I need to go down and check the work. I don’t actually do much of the work with regards to setting up and loading out. I’m old. I pay the drummer to make sure it gets done properly. I bitch at him – a lot. Fortunately, he knows it is all in good fun and that it’s designed to teach him a lesson. I’m never mean about it – but I do remind them that I expect precision. Sloppiness is not acceptable.

I want to get it completely to the point where I can even skip sound check – if I’m really busy. DO NOT DO THIS. DO WHAT I SAY, NOT WHAT I DO. I want to walk on stage, have my guitar in tune, and have someone at the board who can ensure any additional tweaks are able to be applied quickly and on the fly.

Tomorrow, I go do my job. I go to work, give them a show, pack my shit, and go home. I actually expect that I’ll be home no later than 23:00 and in bed at a reasonable hour. There will be no snorting strippers off cocaine’s asses. There won’t be much of an after-party. Everyone’s probably going to go home and sleep in their own beds.

And, that’s what I am looking forward to. It really does look different from the stage. It’s not nearly what many folks think it is. It’s a job. Until next time…

Shut up and play us a song!

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